Following on from the last post MENS MIXED MESSAGES its only right to write about what mixed messages women may send out to men that causes them to be confused sometimes.

1. “Chill”

How many times has the word “Chill” confused both male and female? It’s because we have different imaginations for what will happen. The man’s version maybe to watch a movie, munchies, drinks and then eventually to bedroom or on the sofa, whereas a womans version of chilling is to enjoy his company by getting closer to him to feel comfortable whilst watching “Netflix.” It also means conversations and laughing, maybe play games and if she is comfortable she will allow a few kisses, touch and rub up (you get the picture).

So guys the next time a girl says “We can chill” don’t think she will want to have sex with you just keep an open mind and make her feel comfortable.


2. Break ups /healing time

Ok some women may jump into something new straight away after a break up and the majority of women wait until they feel ready and everything in their life has balanced out.

When a guy  wants a  woman so bad he is persistent and he will gain her attention. They have good conversations, banter/jokes etc. They meet up a few times and he will keep on telling her how much he likes her and how he wants to get to know her a bit more and then she hits him with “I’m not looking for another relationship” or “I’m not ready to let you in”.PAUSE. This is where guys think that women give off mixed messages.

  1. Just because a woman is talking to a guy this does not mean anything at all, there is no label or title to what you are doing.
  2. If the woman has told you that she’s not ready to go further but she’s happy to still speak, date or whatever it is, then just go with her vibes and still have options. Remember neither one owe each other anything.
  3. Never pressure the woman especially if she is healing but believe women will mentally note a man’s persistency and efforts.
  4. If after weeks/months of casual meet ups or just talking and the woman doesn’t feel the connection what the man may have towards her, please guys do not be awkward and say things like “Why waste my time?” Be respectful, stay as friends or just mutually delete each others number and continue with life.


3.Not in the mood for sex is not a personal rejection.

Another thing men receive mixed messages to is when women are not in the mood for that intimate time (sex). To men if a woman doesn’t want to make love then this is rejection and it is assumed that she is entertaining other men. The difference between men and women is that if the man doesn’t want to have sex, women can accept that and will try to caress the man in other ways. However men tend to be confused and  argue.

I can assure you guys that if a woman does not want to have sex it’s because she is genuinely not in the mood for it. Sometimes situations can influence the mood such as stress, tiredness and many other things. This is not a personal rejection.When it comes to sex women can easily turn on and turn off their feelings towards sex with no explanation for it.  Dont take it personal.

I think we all need to do more at expressing our feelings and be more clear from the get go. I do think women mixed signals are more complex but it’s up to the guys to ask the questions before making a move.


Please feel free to add more to this topic if you feel so.





When music sounds so sweet again and I have to really say thank you to the artists who go in the studio and record their tracks and know within themselves that the track BANGS!!. I also have to say thank you to the DJs who are constantly playing new music from artists who I have to research on because that’s what keeps the blogs alive.

Right now  I have some beautiful, beautiful songs that range from R&B and Reggae.

TANKIA “Kingston 13”

It’s been a while since we have heard new music from Tanika but this tune right here so is beautiful the lyrics are meaningful and I love the inspiration she has expressed from Jamaica. I love the beat it reminds me of the old time reggae accoustic sounds.

After releasing her independent EP ‘Out Here’ last February (featuring Stormzy, Wretch 32 and Chip). Tanika is back Kingston 13 taken from her upcoming EP “Birthdays In Jamaica”. Part one of a two part release written and recorded in various parts of Jamaica. Birthdays in Jamaica sees Tanika draw for various experiences from being a young lady in Brixton, London, growing up with a Jamaican father and finding and loosing love along the way.

Kingston 13 is the lead single from the release, a song Tanika made about a love interest who since record has sadly passed away.

Birthdays In Jamaica EP will be out on iTunes/ Spotify /Apple Music on 18th August 2017.

Follow Tanika

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/iamtanika

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamTanika

Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/iamTanika/



The Birmingham Roots, Reggae & Dancehall Singer, songwriter Claire Angel caught  my attention when I heard this track on David Rodigan’s BBC 1xtra show and I really like the melody and lyrics that enocurage us to “Never give up” no matter how life pans out. I have heard of  Claire Angel before but never really checked her out until now. Never Give Up a Ang- UK Production. Claire won Britian Got Reggae 2016

Here is a 30 secs snippet


Never Give Up is out now

AMAZON https://www.amazon.com/Never-Give-Up-Claire-An…/…/B071XHSNS1
iTUNES https://itunes.apple.com/gb/artist/claire-angel/id286640297

Follow Claire Angel

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ClareAngelMusic



SHAGGY feat. ROMAIN VIRGO “Promises”

I am loving this song right now. I just love Romain’s smooth vocals and the way he emphasises”I don’t want to see you cry” just makes me feel like I want to cry but with happy tears.  Recently Shaggy was featured on the “Crazy Glue” riddim by DJ FRASS  which is probably one of the best riddims thats around right now. Promises was produced by a producer called Llamar “Riff Raff”Brown. Riff Raff he has produced tracks for top artists including: Damian Marley, Queen Ifrica, Busy Signal, Tarrus Riley, Morgan Heritage, Jah Cure, and the list goes on.

Follow Shaggy

iTunes: http://flyt.it/ShaggyPromisesiT
Apple Music: http://flyt.it/ShaggyPromisesAM
Spotify: http://flyt.it/ShaggyPromisesSP

Follow Romain Virgo

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RomainVirgo/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/realromainvirgo
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realromainv…



I am not really a big fan of James Arthur, however James is one of those artists who makes tracks every so often  that gets a pass in “non commercial” or “urban”scene with some tracks. This track “Sun Comes Up” is a BANGER!! I can not lie. Maybe it’s because Rudimental have cooked up another banger.  I have recently heard a remix from Steel Banglez feat Mist, who has a nice intro. Now i’m not sure if the version with Mist is available to download  but I really like the idea of Rudimental, James Aruthur Steel Banglez and Mist all one track.  I am so happy that Rudimental are back with new music and on the search for new singers to vocal their productions after some great successes with Anne Marie, Elle Eyre, Will Heard and many more.



Download or stream now at: http://atlanti.cr/suncomesup

Click here to subscribe: http://bit.ly/SubscribeToRu…

Follow Rudimental



Sober is available everywhere now https://atlanti.cr/sober

I don’t know too much about Mahalia other than that she is singer- songwriter from the midlands towns Leciester  and she is what I call a refreshing artist. I absolutley love “Sober” because I resonate with the lyrics and love  love Mahalia’s vocals simply because she sounds like nobody else and has done a great job at identifying her own sound. I like how diverse her music is.

Check out the EP “Diary Of Me” http://lnk.to/DiaryOfMe

Follow Mahalia


Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mahaliamusic/

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/mahaliamusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mahaliamusic

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mahalia_music/


This week playlist has pure bangers, I really mean top notch music. Check out the new favourites and let me know which songs you are feeling right now.


Words By Vanessa Ryan








Whilst we are planning or in the midst of the summer holidays its that time to get us in the mood sun,sea and beach with some of the best playlist that is definetly doing BITS.

So download, stream and turn up the volume on these badass mixes.


(Sidenote) I am currently listening to this for my work out sessions.


Listen to J Rapidz mixes

Mixcloud- http://www.mixcloud.com/jrapidz

Snapchat – @J_Rapidz
Instagram – @J_Rapidz
Facebook – www.facebook.com/jrapidz1
Soundcloud – www.soundcloud.com/jrapidz/



Listen to  DJ Demz mixes

Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/djdemz

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/demztg4u/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/demztg4u



Listen to Twista DJ mixes

Mixlcoud: https://www.mixcloud.com/Itstwistadj/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ItsTwistaDJ

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstwistadj/





Mixcloud: https://www.mixcloud.com/DjLomi/

Website: djlomi.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DjLomi

Facebook: Facebook.com/ShalomiTv

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/djlomi/


There are two 2 more mixes that I can not forget so click https://www.instagram.com/inspiremysmile/  to see me big up 1 more DJ.

Any Djs have summer mixes that you want me to check out please email inspiremysmile@icloud.com.


Words By Vanessa Ryan




When men and women feel a connection with each other they do also give out mixed messages and read messages the wrong way. However men seem to do this thing where they consistently tell the woman how much they like her but don’t seem to act on their words. This comes across as mixed messages to us women. Here is why..

  1. The woman really likes you and you know she does because usually women tend to make more effort in wanting to get know the guy.  Look at the words she may use, the hints and suggestions, these are clues to let you know that she is not playing around. However for every time she makes a suggestion to meet up with you and keep saying things like “I’m working”, “I’m not around/available”, I’ll get back to you” “I‘m in the gym”and you never do follow-up from the last conversation that she made with you then please believe she will be confused and annoyed. Women analyse nearly everything and if you are not showing her that you really do like her and making excuses but keep telling her how much you want to get know, then this is clearly mixed signals.

2. If you are linking (not 100% in a relationship) and the woman starts to feel very strongly about you and wants more than just the sexual interaction and you don’t want anything else but to link and have sex, THIS in itself is mixed messages. Imagine how she feels, loves the sex and wants more with but the guy doesn’t want more? How does that work. In the linking world a lot of women do tend to want more with their link because there is more than just sexual chemistry and actually it could work if men would stop using the term “link” as an excuse do half measures and then when they meet the woman they really want guys will give her everything that the link really wanted him.  A link to a woman is IMPORTANT she will have respect for you but more importantly you are her friend and really the man that she wants to go to when she’s low, the one she wants to go for drinks with, cinemas etc. My advice to men in this situation is actually take the time to think and analyse how your link is towards you as there could actually be clues that will prevent the mixed messages you give out or receive.


3. Mixed messages through social media and phone texting  is a big problem as we tend to misinterpret the message behind the messages. A lot of us in today’s world  use memes and quotes to say how we feel or what we think about another person which may come across as ‘indirect messages’ to someone in specific and this is the start of mixed messages. Imagine you are seeing someone and they write certain statuses on Facebook, use certain quotes on their whats app and you think to yourself  “Are they directing this to me?” Baring in mind that they could be finessing off someone else and you don’t know anything about it but you think it’s about you because as far you are concerned there is no problem. So you feel some way and start to respond to their “indirect messages”.  Can you see the problem here? Instead of us talking and COMMUNICATE  we would rather entertain a something that will lead to arguments and fall outs.

To prevent mixed messages and miscommunication we have to start doing the opposite and talk to each other directly. Women need to stop analysing everything a man says and men need to be more direct and honest with women that way we can move forward and focusing on the bigger picture.


Look out for Womens Mixed Messages

TEA Blog





Hi Readers

Who has been enjoying the sun and good music to add to the heat?

I have just put another FIRE playlist for this week. Please let me know your thoughts about the playlist.


TAMMY RIVERA “All These Kisses

The beautiful Singer, Swimsuit Designer  TV personality of Love & Hip-Hop  Tammy Rivera recently shared what she has been working on in the studio to some of her fellow crew members whilst in Jamaica.  Tammy revealed that her songs are about her pain and love dedicated to her rapper husband Wacka Flocka.

I am very much looking forward to hearing the other songs especially the one that was heard by the other LHHA members a few weeks back. On the other hand I really like “All Of These Kisses” it makes me feel warm, like I want to lay somebody with somebody with some kisses. Big up yourself Tammy the song it HOT and has been on repeat for the past 2 weeks.

You can purchase All Of These Kisses here https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/all-these-kisses-single/id1247038600


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charliesangelll/?hl=en


Website:  www.t-rivera.com




Shystie one of the UK’s favourite female rapper is back with a brand new track called “Wake up”. This time she has teamed up with  Ads Valu who is signed to F-Block Music and has worked with Vanessa White on her E.P “Chapter 2.”

Wake Up has a nice drum and bass sound, it’s not too heavy and deep. However it will definitely have you bopping your head and tapping your foot. I like the fact that its one of those songs that will grow on you and also it’s good to hear Shystie on different sounds. I also like how distinctive she sounds.



Buy & Stream Wake Up https://starworkmusic.lnk.to/WakeUpTW


Twitter: https://twitter.com/IAMSHYSTIE

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamshystie/

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/iamshystie


Facebook: Adsvalu

Twitter: @adsvalu

Instagram: @adsvalu



I heard “Pump” on DJ Target’s show on BBC 1xtra and I like it. I am a fan of house and Edm sounds so when I heard pump it was quite refreshing as I havent heard a quality commercial dance production in a minute. This prodcution is great to work to in the gym, at raves/parties and it just makes gassed for summer.


What do we know about Valentino Khan?

The producer makes everything from hip hop club anthems to dance music hits. . He has produced hip hop sounds for multi-platinum and Grammy award-winning artists such as B.o.B., T.I., Bruno Mars, 2 Chainz, Iggy Azalea, Tyga and Kid Sister.



“PUMP” OUT NOW: valentinokhan.fm/Pump

Stream “Pump”
Spotify: valentinokhan.fm/PumpSpotify
Apple Music: valentinokhan.fm/PumpAppleMusic
YouTube: valentinokhan.fm/PumpYouTube

Download “Pump”
iTunes: valentinokhan.fm/PumpiTunes
Amazon: valentinokhan.fm/PumpAmazon
Google Play: valentinokhan.fm/PumpGooglePlay
Beatport: valentinokhan.fm/PumpBeatport

Facebook: valentinokhan.fm/Facebook
Instagram: valentinokhan.fm/Instagram
Twitter: valentinokhan.fm/Twitter
YouTube: valentinokhan.fm/YouTube
Soundcloud: valentinokhan.fm/SoundCloud
Spotify: valentinokhan.fm/TheGoldList


That is your lot for this week. 3 extra bangers added to the playlist. I have so much more tunes to share that I am loving right now and I will upload them next week.

In the mean time between time please check out my new feature The T.E.A ( Time, Effort, Attention) blog which is the new relationships feature to help inspire and guide us for better relationships and for men to understand women a lot better.



Words By Vanessa Ryan


Welcome to TEA.

TEA (Time.Effort.Attention) is the new feature added to the Inspire Mysmile blog that will try to guide men to understand women better. Time, effort and attention are the 3 things that women need and want in relationships and so I was inspired to start this blog as I feel TEA is becoming a problem in today’s society.

Here’s what to expect from this blog

  • Dating tips/Etiquette
  • Linking, Dating, Friends With Benefits
  • Controlling our feelings when dating/linking someone
  • Respect
  • Bad habits & Good

Many more features will be added to TEA as we progress. 🙂



Welcome to the TEA blog.

I wanted to make my first post about the dating stages and how first impressions are important.

There are little things that women look out for in men and I like to call them dating etiquettes.

  1. If you have both agreed on a time to meet up and the guy is running late it is courtesy to let the girl know so at least it puts her mind at ease. Do not arrive late and then tell her ‘I’m on the way’ as she will already be pissed off for at least 30 minutes and the date night will not go as planned. By the way this does apply to women as well but for some reason some guys seem to have a problem with communication.

2. EFFORT is a big thing when you both dedicate the time to get to know each other. Effort is a big thing for women from the minute the man comes in to her presence. Women tend to check out the clothes, particularly the shoes and the cologne. Believe it or not but how a man smells is very important, its kind of like a turn on or turn off thing for women.

Make the effort to compliment each other and smile. I know a lot of the time making eye contact is awkward especially if you really like the person but this is what makes dating interesting.  The communication is a big thing as well so if you struggle to find things to talk about especially on the first the date, I suggest you talk about the first time you met and find out what the attraction was and just keep the conversation simple and have light banter.

Now I wont go into too much about who pays for what as I think team work makes perfect sense and I do think you should go halves but if the guy insist on paying then that’s even better but the woman should insist on paying for the date the next time.

3. Once you have spent good time together always thank each other for enjoying each others companies.  However the most biggest thing that women love is when the guy says ‘Let me know when have got home safely’. OMG I can not let know how important those words are in every aspect of relationships, for women this makes them feel safe and that guys truly cares for her safety. To fair that initiative should be a natural thing for everyone really.

4. When you are getting to know someone there’s always that issue on how many times you should communicate with each other. If a woman is constantly on the guys line then he may think she’s clingy and just too much, however the guy doesn’t make that much effort then he either is not interested, speaking to other women or just simply busy.  To be honest there is no rule for how much you contact each other and try to find a balance. If you don’t meet up every week then at least drop a text or call each other and if you do meet up every week etc then you don’t really need to communicate that much but just send each other ‘Morning, have a nice day’ texts. Just keep it simple. Women love when guys make that small effort to just check in.


Remember there is no real rule but just be more aware that first impression count if you want to take dating to the next stage.